Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Sad. Tiring.

As you can see, the title says it all.
Well, there was no class today, but I was supposed to accompany Puvin to go jogging.
I set my alarm the night before -- 7:50 AM
When my alarm rang this morning, I woke up and turned it off.
I was thinking, Puvin will call me about this, so I went back to sleep.
Before 9 AM, I woke up and checked my phone.
There was a WhatsApp notification from Puvin saying that he wanted to sleep.
So, I told him to just sleep. Lol
I was too sleepy and lazy myself.
I went back to sleep again.

A few minutes before 11 AM, I received a phone call from aunt Jenny saying that she's coming to Melaka from KL.
She wanted to bring me out for lunch.
I said, "Okay."
I mean, who doesn't want free food?
I got out from bed around 11:15 AM and shower.
...and I got ready.
But then, Puvin called me to go out for lunch with him.
I told him I was going out with my aunt around 12:30 PM and he sounded sad.
I would've brought him along if he didn't have class in the afternoon.
So yeah, he came in front of my dorm to get my pendrive from me because he needed to edit and print out a permission letter to leave classes.
I gave him a bun as well, because I didn't want him to go hungry.

My aunt arrived earlier than the time she stated.
Puvin sent me til the stairs to the boys' dorm.
I went up and meet up with my aunt.
I thought she was alone, but she wasn't.
It was a bummer.
My uncle was with her.
Uh huh, we went out for lunch at Suukee Chicken Rice.
We talked and talked.
I knew my uncle was going to talk to me about insurance.
When I told him about Elken, he said insurance is the best.
At first, he demotivated me.
As time goes, it made me feel like,
Adakah patut he ask me, "Bill Gates is a billionaire, why does he still have to work?"
What kind of question is that?

...and so, they sent me back to college.
I saw Fiona and Julie were on their way out.
When I got out of the car, their faces were like, eyes bulging out and mouths were wide open.
They said the car is really cool.
I remembered it was a Toyota Camry Hybrid.

Since they were going out, they asked me to tagged along, going to Mydin with Zul and Rina as well.
We went there to withdraw cash and pay our Wi-Fi bills.
I bumped into Catherine and Xue Nee while I was at the ATM.
They wanted a ride home, so I said okay.
Our ride back to college was pretty packed.

On our way back to our room, Puvin was at the washing machine, picking up his stuffs.
He asked me how was lunch?
I was so mad and told him everything about my uncle.
He said he knew it.
He knew that if I came back happy, it's because I'm with my aunt.
If I came back angry, it's because of my uncle.
True, true, true!

We talked for a while and Puvin decided to skip class, since it's Mr. Hong's class.
I asked him if he was sure.
He said yes because he hasn't packed his stuff yet.
Where is he going, you ask?
Well, he's going back to Kuching for his cousin's wedding.
We talked and he sent me off -- back to my room.
We were going to 'lepak' again before sending him off to Melaka Sentral.

We 'lepak' around 6 PM.
We talked and talked, and suddenly I felt sad.
I don't know.
Was it because he's leaving tonight, or something was bothering me?
I just don't know.
...and after a while, we had dinner, talking again and he sent me back to my room at 7:30 PM.

At 8 something, Fiona, Julie and I were waiting at the lobby to send Puvin to Melaka Sentral.
I called Puvin and he said he was putting his socks on.
...and finally, he came.
Julie said he looked like he was going for a camping trip. Hahaha
As we were walking down the stairs to the parking lot, Zexen appeared unexpectedly.
I didn't know he came.
So, he came together with us.
I asked for Puvin's phone and searched Locked Away by R. City on Youtube.
I asked him to listen to that song, later.
Also, Zexen was telling us that Pastor John really like me and Puvin being together.
That is kinda... Weird?

When we arrived Melaka Sentral, Zexen wanted to go eat.
So, we went to McDonald's.
After eating, he said he was still hungry.
I gave him a how-come-you-are-still-hungry dash face.
I didn't want to tell this, but I kept looking at Puvin.
I miss him even though he was next to me.
...I was too ego to admit.

It was almost time, so we had to send him off at the platform.
He put his things in the bus trunk and came back to me.
He hugged me and kissed my forehead.
I don't know what I was feeling.
Was it sadness, or emptiness? Maybe both?

Okay, here comes the funny part.
He was going into the bus.
Turned out, it was the wrong bus.
He got out and took his things, and went to the bus next to it.
He put his things in and Fiona said, "Fail! Hahaha. Ask him to hug you again."
He went inside immediately though because it was almost time.
When the bus started moving, he waved goodbye to me and gave me lots of flying kiss.
I did the same.
Automatic reaction.
Then, off he go.
On our way to the car, Zexen and I conversed about something and ended up asking each other a weird question.

Zexen kept on bullying me in the car.
I said, "Puvin pergi, alu kena buli."
Fiona: "Ohhh, takut dengan Puvin oh."
Zexen: *paused* Respect.
I asked if we were going back or going to eat.
...and then I said, "Aku tauk, Zexen and... KAU lapar." to Fiona.
So yeah, we ended up eating at a mamak stall near D' Puteh.
I ordered roti naan (flatbread) and a glass of Teh O Ais.
I told Puvin I was eating roti naan and he said that's his favorite.
Suddenly, I was craving for that and I didn't know why.

Bla, bla, bla!
We're back in college.
Back in the room and showered.
It felt weird.
I didn't leave room, like I used to.
No Puvin! T.T
5 days without him.
I'm just in my room, waiting for Mars to show itself in the sky.
Well, there wasn't.

Oh yeah, I asked Puvin if he had listened to that song.
He was listening to it.
I told him to read the lyrics as well.
He was shocked that the lyrics matches our everyday question.
It's almost the same.

All in all, it was a tiring and a sad day.

R. City ft. Adam Levine - Locked Away

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

"I don't know." - 8th semester

I know, it's been like more than a month.

So, yeah.
It's my 8th semester.
This is my 2nd week of this semester, already.
I don't know.
It feels like college, sometimes it doesn't.
I just don't know.

Truthfully, my classes aren't packed this semester.

When I don't have classes, I don't know what to do.
I can't just stay in my room, take long naps and going online all the time.
I can't just go dating all the time.
Well, those are my only options because I don't want to study, but I still want to pass.

But, when I do have classes, I want to go back to my room, as soon as possible.
Lectures are boring but sometimes it's fun.
I don't know.
I can only pay attention when the lecturer is saying something interesting, you know, something that attracts your attention.

That is all because, sometimes I feel like I have a future studying under this college, sometimes I don't.
Sometimes, I ask myself:
...What job will I get when I graduate?
   ...How much salary will I receive?
      ...Will I be unemployed?
         ...How can I help my parents?

I don't know what to do.
It's my third year in degree.
...and I have like 4 semesters to go.
I can't just stop studying.
I've gone this far.
I've survived 8 semesters.
I'd be really stupid if I decide to quit this college.

I can't say what my future is going to be like.
I leave everything in God's hands.
He knows best.